Sunday, May 10, 2015
Today's blog post is going to be a little different. It's meant to focus on the journey we've had while doing our projects and basically reflect on what we did. It's not easy to really think about what you may have done wrong or what may have been better, but i'm going to try.
So I think that my first mistake with my 20 time project was not changing it sooner. I knew for a few weeks before I changed my project that it did not feel the same as when I started. Not changing was probably my biggest mistake. If I had started sooner on my new project, I would have been able to get more done. All of the time I spent holding onto my old project and trying to make it work could have been used for my new project.
Another thing, is that I think I kept giving myself excuses. I would tell myself that I didn't have time to do something or that I didn't have the means to do it. I lacked motivation to do things and get stuff done. Just thinking about this makes me angry. Why didn't I just sit down and get things done? Some things would have taken merely minutes if I had really sat down and just worked. My laziness got in the way and I only have myself to blame.
On a more positive note, I loved having time in class to work on my project. It gave me time to sit and learn/research about what my friend was going through. Before this project, I couldn't have told you what a tilt test was, or what POTS stood for, but now I know tons of stuff. Every time I sat down on Fridays with the Ipad, I felt like i was getting closer to understanding what my friend was going through. I know that I will never truly understand what she is going through, or know how it feels, but it made me feel closer. Like if I knew more about some of the things she was experiencing, that I could better be there for her.
Though this project, I have learned a lot about what true strength is. If I asked most people, they would probably mention something about muscles, or how much weight someone can lift. I learned that this is so not true. Strength is watching someone get knocked down so many times, but never once see them fail to get back up. Strength is when a person gets constantly told that they are imagining things, or that they aren't really sick, but fights back and never gives up. Recently, whenever I am doing something and it seems hard and I feel like I can't do it, I get angry at myself. I f my best friend can go through all that she has and is going through and still have a smile on her face whenever I see her, then why should I not be able to do this? My friend has shown me what real strength is and I don't think I will ever forget it.
Thank you E, for never giving up when things get hard. For fighting even if it feels like you aren't getting anywhere. Thank you for being an amazing friend to me. And most of all, thank you for showing me what true strength and courage is. I U